This past April, I spent a week in Washington, D.C., becoming a Gallup Certified
CliftonStrengths Coach. I arrived expecting to gain another leadership framework and left with
something much more enduring. The experience reshaped the way I think about kindness—not
simply as compassion or encouragement, but as the intentional practice of recognizing
strengths, both in ourselves and in the people around us.
The decision to pursue the certification was deeply personal. Just weeks earlier, I lost a
colleague and dear friend who was one of the most gifted leadership development professionals
I have ever known. She had an extraordinary ability to recognize potential in others and a
genuine commitment to helping people become the best version of themselves. Over the years,
she encouraged me to pursue CliftonStrengths certification because she believed it aligned
naturally with the work I had devoted my career to: helping individuals, teams, and organizations
grow. After her passing in March, I stopped asking whether it was the right time and enrolled in
the April program. The class began the same week as her funeral, and what could have been
just another professional development opportunity became something far more meaningful. It
became a reminder that one of the greatest legacies we can leave is helping others recognize
the gifts they already possess.
As I reflected on that week in Washington, I realized how much of our lives are spent focusing
on what needs to be fixed. From an early age, we are taught to improve our weaknesses.
Performance reviews identify development areas. Schools devote extra attention to the subjects
where students struggle most. Even our internal dialogue often centers on what we should do
better, know better, or become better. Growth certainly requires humility and a willingness to
learn, but I sometimes wonder whether we spend so much time correcting what comes least
naturally that we neglect to cultivate what comes most naturally.
That is what resonated with me about CliftonStrengths. Rather than beginning with deficiency, it
begins with possibility. It invites us to identify the patterns of thinking, relating, influencing, and
executing that come naturally to us and to develop those talents into strengths through
intentional practice. It doesn’t suggest that weaknesses are irrelevant or that we should avoid
difficult feedback. Instead, it offers a more balanced perspective—one that acknowledges our
opportunities for growth without allowing them to become the primary lens through which we
define ourselves.
There is something profoundly kind about that approach. Being kind to ourselves does not mean
lowering expectations or settling for mediocrity. It means recognizing that we were never
intended to excel at everything. It means giving ourselves permission to invest deeply in the
gifts we have been given instead of measuring our worth by the things that will never come as
naturally. Excellence is rarely the result of becoming average at every skill. More often, it comes
from identifying our greatest strengths and developing them with discipline, purpose, and
consistency.
The same principle applies to the way we lead others. One of the greatest acts of leadership is
helping people see strengths they may not yet recognize in themselves. My colleague did this
exceptionally well. She didn’t offer empty compliments or encouragement for encouragement’s
sake. She paid attention. She noticed what people did naturally, where they made an impact,
and how they brought value to those around them. More importantly, she took the time to tell
them. Looking back, I realize that one of the greatest gifts she gave me wasn’t advice—it was
belief. Her confidence challenged me to see myself differently and gave me the courage to
continue growing.
I have come to believe that leaders underestimate the power of naming strengths. We are often
quick to identify gaps in performance, but much slower to articulate what someone does
exceptionally well. Yet people frequently rise to the level of what others consistently recognize in
them. A thoughtful observation, offered with sincerity and specificity, can build confidence,
shape identity, and even influence the direction of a career. Sometimes the words people
remember most are not the ones that corrected them, but the ones that helped them recognize
a gift they didn’t fully appreciate until someone else named it.
At Agape Kae, we believe leadership begins with kindness, is grounded in authenticity, and
evolves through intentional growth. For me, kindness means more than being supportive or
agreeable. It means seeing people clearly. It means acknowledging the strengths within
ourselves with humility instead of constantly criticizing what we lack. It also means looking for
the strengths in others and taking the time to tell them what we see. When people feel genuinely
seen, they often discover the confidence to become the very person they were capable of being
all along.
Perhaps that is one of the most meaningful responsibilities we have as leaders. Not simply to
solve problems or achieve results, but to recognize potential, cultivate strengths, and leave
people with a deeper belief in themselves than they had before they met us. That kind of
kindness has the power to transform careers, organizations, families, and communities. It
certainly transformed me.
Where might your leadership change if you spent less time dwelling on weaknesses and
more time intentionally developing—and speaking to—the strengths that already exist?
